Maybe it’s “energy.” Maybe it’s just human.

Seeking esoteric answers to normal, messy questions

When I was seven, I had to have my first blood test. A few seconds into the draw, I fainted, and for years after that, I was terrified of needles. At some point, my mom spoke with a psychic about my phobia, who said that I likely had a past-life thing around blood that carried over. We both shrugged. It made as much sense as anything else at the time.

This was meant to explain why I had this seemingly random fear, but it didn’t help. I just had another image in my head at the doctor’s office, another story to tell about how scared I needed to be.

As I matured, I did past life regression. I went to hypnotherapists and talk therapists. I worked with power animals and crystals and learned to meditate. And I still freaked out every single time, once having a panic attack so bad I couldn’t get out of my car.

I share this story because what finally did help, after thirty years of phobic nightmares, wasn’t regression or mantras or magically releasing karmic blocks or other energy-first stuff: it was thoroughly addressing childhood trauma.

I understand when shamanic clients come to me and want the esoteric explanation. They want to know what it means to have a kundalini awakening and is that…