I had PTSD. Here’s what I know about healing it.
(CW: 9/11, mental health issues)
I’m describing here what worked for me and hoping that you or someone you know might benefit. It’s not medical advice. Please discern what’s right for you.
I moved to New York City a very starry eyed 23 year old in 2000. Less than a year after my arrival, I was working in the Financial District and I saw a lot of what happened on that infamous September morning. A week later, I had to go back to work amidst the onslaught of smells and the sight of workers in haz-mat suits making their way from building to building to clean up the thick layer of dust I was walking through in pantyhose and flats.
The nightmares started early. Aliens in spaceships wreaking havoc from above. Bombings. A sense of foreboding as I walked the city streets in my dreams. I also had morbid daydreams of being in another disaster.
I felt a numb fascination with the news as they continued work at the site for months afterwards. I couldn’t look away, even though I couldn’t bear it. I startled at the sound of sirens. City life was a constant barrage of triggering noises.
I could call up that smell at the slightest suggestion. Sitting at a friend’s table, two hundred miles away and in perfect safety, I’d remember a bit of the story and instantly feel like I was…
