Published in Human Parts·May 27Grieving well is punk rock.What I learned about sadness from an African ritualist — I’m excited to talk about grief. I know it’s weird and contradictory but stay with me. Whether we don’t want to burden anyone or we can’t find the words or the appropriate time or safe enough place, or we think they just won’t get it — so many of us…Ritual8 min read
Published in Human Parts·May 1Burning the NotebookAnd losing our minds just a little bit — One of my teachers once shared a story about spending time in South America with elders. He had taken copious notes about everything, pages and pages of quotes, descriptions, and things to remember. One day, his mentor picked up his notebook and flipped through it. “Oh,” he said. “That’s all…Learning4 min read
Apr 5Maybe it’s “energy.” Maybe it’s just human.Seeking esoteric answers to normal, messy questions — When I was seven, I had to have my first blood test. A few seconds into the draw, I fainted, and for years after that, I was terrified of needles. At some point, my mom spoke with a psychic about my phobia, who said that I likely had a past-life…New Age3 min read
Aug 23, 2021Head Trip: on the road with anxietyAll that separates me from my neighbors is a line of blacktop driveway. I hear them get in and out of the car, I know when they have friends over or do some gardening or their kid has a tantrum. I mean, not to be creepy about it — I…Mwc Space11 min read
Published in Perceive More!·May 17, 2021A letter to the guy who harassed me from his truck last nightWe didn’t have a chance to really talk, you know? — Hi Truck Guy. Do you remember me? I seemed to make an impression on you. I woke up out of a sound sleep last night remembering that I had parked my car in the wrong spot, so I got up to move it. I blearily put on yoga pants and…Street Harassment4 min read
May 5, 2021A Day of Prayer for the rest of us.May 6 is National Day of Prayer in the US and I have mixed feelings and a few suggestions. — “The National Day of Prayer is an annual day of observance held on the first Thursday of May, designated by the United States Congress, when people are asked “to turn to God in prayer and meditation”. The president is required by law (36 U.S.C. § 119) to sign a proclamation…Secular6 min read
Published in Wholistique·Apr 28, 2021Healing is messy. And worth it.Healing isn’t what I thought it would be when I started in therapy in 2004. In fact, I’m not even sure the word “healing” had occurred to me then. I just knew I felt like crap and either wanted to die or get better. (More accurately, I didn’t want to…Healing From Trauma6 min read
Mar 29, 2021Springing forward from COVIDWhat should happen next — It’s the time of year when I go through the rituals of spring cleaning, though this year that feels really different. As I get the stuff to goodwill or rearrange the furniture, I notice it’s with a mix of emotions. I’m really grateful for this house that has sheltered us…Memorial7 min read
Oct 26, 2020Not just “Heinz 57”: Relating to a Mix of AncestorsI used to have this idea that I was 1/4 this and 1/8 that. To some extent, it’s true: it’s many Westerners’ common way of quantifying our heritage and acknowledging where our ancestors lived, particularly given the US’s status as home to some many diasporic peoples. I thought that my…Ancestry5 min read
Oct 2, 2020What could have been.Miscarriage in another dimension — TW: medical situations, miscarriage In a parallel universe, I’m well into my second trimester. I don’t quite have the fortitude to illustrate that sci-fi timeline for you. But in some other world, my experience of miscarriage would have been very different from what I went through here in this one…Pregnancy Loss4 min read